Video: Scientific Expose on the Nature of Mambas, by Dr. Brian Scalabrine

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“The White Mamba is the world’s most dormant snake. It just chills. It just watches and chills.”

Leave it to Brian Scalabrine to find a way to glamorize the role of an NBA bench player. The short You Tube clip of Scalabrine expounding upon the difference between a black mamba and a white mamba shows a shot of him taking in an NBA game from the sidelines.

April 26, 2012; Chicago, IL, USA; Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah (left) sits on the bench with power forward Brian Scalabrine (right) during the second half against the Cleveland Cavaliers at the United Center. The Bulls beat the Cavaliers 107-75. Mandatory Credit: Rob Grabowski-US PRESSWIRE

Scalabrine may be the biggest cult hero of all bench warmers, and he’s about to begin his broadcasting career with Comcast, a gig he took in favor of being an assistant coach for the Chicago Bulls. Expect the “White Mamba” to bring a lot of humor to the broadcasts. He’ll likely eventually find his way to major networking and appear on TNT. I’d say it’s nearly a given, with his charisma and amiable nature, something that endeared him to fans in what would be a forgettable career if it were all rendered to statistical impact.

Scalabrine has made more headlines than some of the current Celtics on the roster here at Hardwood Houdini, but we’re fairly certain that you, our readers, don’t mind. In fact, we’d venture to say most of you are craving far more, but we’re doing what we can; this isn’t a Brian Scalabrine fan site and blog, though there are no shortage of those on the Internet, if we’re still not giving you your fill of the White Mamba.

So just sit back and “chill.” Be dormant. Be like Scal.