Saluting the Unsung Hero: Brian Scalabrine

Folks, we’ve just entered the heart of the NBA offseason and all I see is darkness.

Since August is – undoubtedly – the single most uneventful month of the NBA Calendar, generating new content will be a struggle until Media Day. One benefit of this dark period is that it’ll allow us to take a step back from Twitter and put our retrospection shoes on. Now’s the perfect time to nurse your nostalgia fever and think back to the glory days.

In order to avoid beating a dead horse, I figured I’d reminisce with a different approach. Instead of harping on the greatness of legends like Bill Russell – who’s influence, still, cannot be overstated – I thought I’d salute an unsung hero: a guy who’s importance was often overlooked, despite his very noticeable popularity.

This man would be none other than the White Mamba himself, Brian Scalabrine.

Yes, yes, yes — I understand Scalabrine’s a well-known player, who’s more famous than he has any right to be. And yes, chances are, even the most casual of NBA fans have heard of him. However, his popularity’s the direct result of him being the butt end of a joke.

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Circa 2008, if you were to see the then-slightly overweight Scalabrine (he’s trimmed-down a bit since then) on the street, red afro and ghost-white skin et al, you’d have an easier chance of believing he was the Celtics’ mascot than an actual NBA player.

To outsiders, Scalabrine seemed like he was a mere mascot, but he was actually a vital piece of the 2008 NBA Championship-winning Celtics team, despite playing zero minutes during the Finals.

On the internet, people routinely hail Scalabrine as the NBA’s GOAT (albeit tongue-in-cheekly). The joke’s humor derives from his appearance and perceived-mediocrity. What people often forget is how long of a career Scalabrine had. Scalabrine spent 11 years in the Association, far exceeding the career average of 4.8. With basketball being the world’s third most popular sport (ahead of baseball, tennis, golf, american football, etc…), the fact that Scalabrine spent 11 years among the top 450 players in the world, speaks volumes to Scalabrine’s talents.

One quick glance at Scal’s stat sheet and you’ll notice he spent almost his entire career riding the bench. It may therefore confuse people as to why Scalabrine – who has no discernible advantages over his peers – spent such a long time in the NBA.

It’s all because of his advanced basketball IQ and ability to play within an NBA system.

In the Celtics’ 2008 depth chart, Scalabrine played behind: Kevin Garnett, Glen Davis, P.J. Brown and James Posey. While many of his minutes came during garbage time (he was the C’s symbolic victory cigar), he’d often play meaningful minutes under Doc Rivers since his skills were conducive for the small ball lineups Doc would occasionally deploy. While he was a natural power forward, he’d occasionally play small forward, and sometimes even center. This versatility added an element of unpredictability to the Celtics’ bench.

While Scal’s meager athleticism, on top of his rudimentary offensive game, would ultimately limit his output, he was a solid passer from the high-post and an adequate three-point shooter. In his career, the White Mamba shot a respectable 34% from behind-the-arc. Because the C’s spacing would increase with Scalabrine, this allowed the C’s to run different offensive sets than they’d otherwise do with Big Baby or Garnett.

Scalabrine’s staying power should most of all be attributed to his gregarious personality. On any given night – even when logging DNPs – Scal would invariably be the most vocal supporter on the Celtics bench. He never complained about playing time and seemed to always mesh well with his teammates and coaches. And nobody enjoyed “White Mamba” jokes more than Scal himself.

Two of Scal’s coaches would later endorse him for coaching roles, one being Doc Rivers and the other Tom Thibodea, the latter of whom actually offered him a spot on his Bulls coaching staff.

However, Scalabrine would instead choose to go where he belongs, home (after a catastrophic tenure on Mark Jackson’s dysfunctional coaching staff). Now, we get to hear him every single away game, doing color commentary alongside play-by-play commentator, Mike Gorman. The insight Scal adds, along with his brand of self-deprecating humor, makes it a treat to tune in to Boston’s local broadcast of the Celtics.

While Scal would never be the GOAT, he did give the GOAT post-game conference, following the Celtics 2008 championship:

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