Celtics hate-watch playoff rankings: Which teams should fans be rooting against?

It’s time for a very special edition of the Celtics Hate-Watch power rankings. I mean, who would want to head into the NBA’s most wonderful time of the year without a tailored guide to how Celtics fans should be rooting in the seamlessly never-ending string of high-intensity basketball games.

Maybe you're going to watch with friends and want some fun facts to throw around as to why you want to see the Lakers (or any other team) lose so badly.

You’re welcome.

Below, I’ve ranked the 15 other teams from most to least likeable from a Boston perspective.

For what it’s worth, I did not factor the “they’re playing the Celtics” tax into these rankings. It’s purely from a storyline/rivalry angle.

Let’s get into it:

Portland Trail Blazers

There is no hate for the Blazers. I will be rooting for them to hang with the Spurs as much as possible in the opening round.

Say something nice about the Trail Blazers:

Jrue Holiday and Robert Williams III will forever be seen as Celtics (barring catastrophe). It would be great to see them put together some nice playoff wins in Portland for a fanbase that deserves an exciting team to root for.

Both players are winners, and Williams in particular is one of the most exciting guys in the league.

So yeah, go Blazers.

Detroit Pistons

There are a lot of old-head Celtics fans that will resent this. That’s fine. I get it. There have been eras where Detroit and Boston have had plenty of run-ins.

This era is not one of them, though.

Say something nice about the Pistons:

Much like Charlotte, the Pistons’ fanbase has gone throughout over the last 15+ seasons. They haven’t seen their team win a playoff series since 2008, and just got to watch their guys rip off a 60-win season for the third time in franchise history, and the first in 20 years.

This is one of the most fun (non-derogatory) teams they’ve had in a while.

Still, they aren’t getting the respect they deserve nationally. The media members who will tell you that Detroit is a serious threat to emerge from the East are few and far-between.

Phoenix Suns

This might be the meanest line in this entire piece.

I couldn’t care less about the Phoenix Suns. I’m sorry. I don’t like them. I don’t dislike them.

*shrug*

I know they’ve overachieved this season and have made lemonade out of last summer’s lemons. Their roster, aside from Devin Booker, lacks the serious, top-level talent needed to win in the postseason.

Their presence sort of just feels like a waste, if we’re being completely honest.

Say something nice about the Suns:

Jordan Ott has done a great job this year. He reminds me a lot of Joe Mazzulla with the way that he sees the game. Once the front office has time to put a more competitive team together for him, he’ll probably see a similar amount of success.

Also, credit to them for offering affordable concessions to fans.

Denver Nuggets

The Nuggets have been good for a while, but haven’t ever really run into the Celtics in any meaningful games. They haven’t left me with any scars. I’m not tired of seeing them win. They don’t have anyone on their roster (off the top of my head) that I really want to see fail.

Nikola Jokic continues to play a selfless brand of winning basketball and it’s good for the game. Now, if they were to meet the Celtics in the Finals and prevent them from winning a title, then there’d be a reason to move them up on the list.

Say something nice about the Nuggets:

They’ve owned the Lakers for years, and for that, I tip my cap.

Toronto Raptors

This isn’t really the thing that you come to an article like this for, but there isn’t too much to hate about the Raptors. They have good fans. Their current roster is pretty fun (derogatory) and harmless, considering they went 1-11 against the East’s top three teams this year. There isn’t anyone left from their grueling, seven-game against Boston in 2020.

Besides RJ Barrett and Immanuel Quickley, who were both annoying foes when they were in New York, there’s no bad blood at all.

Say something nice about the Raptors:

Darko Rajaković rules. He always gives thoughtful answers in press conferences and watching him give out Toronto’s “player of the game” chain every once in a while on social media is good for the heart.

Atlanta Hawks

CJ McCollum and his impact on this current iteration of the CBA are to thank for the Hawks being as high on this list as they are. Beyond him, there aren’t many guys to dislike. Even CJ, fine on-the-court guy. He just smoked the last Celtics core because he likes aprons so much.

Jalen Johnson, Nickeil Alexander-Walker, and the rest of Atlanta’s fast-paced squad are a fun watch. Was it annoying that they beat Boston twice this year, sure, but beyond that there’s not much to hate on -- except for their fabricated 92-person fan section that they roll out at each home game.

Say something nice about the Hawks

I will be rooting for them in round one. No further than that, though.

Minnesota Timberwolves

The Anthony Edwards-led Timberwolves have mirrored the earlier Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown-led Celtics. Deep playoff runs with tons of premature credit have been plentiful in Minneapolis. Edwards, as exciting as he is, was shoehorned into “face of the league” conversations after one impressive playoff run in 2024.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if he and the Wolves finally reached the mountaintop this year, it’s just unlikely.

Say something nice about the Timberwolves:

Edwards and Celtics (and Timberwolves) legend Kevin Garnett had a momentous dap last week.

San Antonio Spurs

This might be a bit of a hot take, but the Spurs are pretty high up on the list for me. Don’t get me wrong. It’s fun to watch a younger core succeed, especially with a generational talent like Victor Wembanyama leading the charge.

Speaking of, I haven’t forgotten about his shove to Jayson Tatum’s back. Last month, less than a week after JT returned from his torn Achilles, Wemby made sure he remembered what the hardwood felt like in San Antonio.

There’s also a piece of this where it’d hurt to see San Antonio’s young core win so early, after watching the Celtics have to battle year after year before eventually achieving their ultimate goal.

Say something nice about the Spurs:

I’m not all the way out on Wemby. He’s still insanely fun to watch and has a tremendous career ahead of him.

Luke Kornet is there, too.

Orlando Magic

Alright, so I’m writing this one before Friday’s Play-In game against Charlotte. There’s no way of me knowing, besides my intuition, whether or not the Magic will actually be in the playoffs.

With that being said, they won’t. They are as lifeless of a “playoff” team that I’ve seen, maybe ever. Their offense is gross. The stars don’t mesh well -- one of whom is rumored to be calling for Jamahl Mosely’s job.

They deserve to lose, preferably before the playoffs even start, but if they somehow snuck in, then it still applies.

Orlando also proved to have a fair amount of villainy in them last year, as well. Their first-round meeting with the Celtics was defined by physicality, and many fans felt like some of those guys were just looking to leave some sort of scar on Boston’s players.

That’s probably a bit extreme, but nonetheless, there’s some minor beef.

Say something nice about the Magic:

Their rebrand this season was well done.

Cleveland Cavaliers

Maybe it’s the roster, or it’s impeding implosion. Maybe it’s simply the horrible branding. There’s just something that makes me feel that it’d be pretty sad to see Cleveland have playoff success this year.

Need not forget that they pretty openly tanked games late in the season to avoid potentially playing Boston in the second round, too.

Their years of being LeBron James benefactors is enough for me to root for the Cavs to go crashing out early in the playoffs.

Oh, and Max Strus is there.

Say something nice about the Cavs:

Their broadcast is tremendous at helping fans do math.

Houston Rockets

As long as Ime Udoka is in charge in Houston, there will always be a reason to root against the Rockets. What went down in Boston and how it affected those within the organization was bad enough. Nevermind the contingent of the fanbase that insisted that the team was wrong to get rid of him and hire Joe Mazzulla in his place (some still feel this, btw).

With the rollercoaster season the Rockets have had, there’s a real chance a playoff catastrophe could cause Udoka’s already-warming seat to catch fire.

Also, I’ve kind of soured on Alperen Sengun this season. I’m just not a fan of the way he moves, metaphorically, though he is literally one of the NBA slow guys.

Say something nice about the Rockets:

I remain a Kevin Durant guy. Plus, their “Space City” uniforms are pretty cool.

Oklahoma City Thunder

No one wants to see these guys repeat, right?

I feel like the general public has harsher views on the Thunder than I do, but what can I say? I’m a man of the people.

If NBA fans don’t want to see that free-throw merchant Shai Gilgeous-Alexander go back-to-back, then neither do I.

For what it’s worth, there’s something to be said about OKC just deciding they’re going to dare the officials to call fouls on every possession. They’ve effectively reinvented the way a lot of teams play defense and opposing coaches are consistently losing their minds on the sidelines when they face off against the reigning champs.

Plus, since the Celtics didn’t repeat last year, it’s only fair to root against someone else doing the same.

Say something nice about the Thunder:

I think it’s pretty cool that they have effectively made sideline reporter, Nick Gallo, part of the team.

Philadelphia 76ers

Outside of Philly being Boston’s first-round opponent this year, seeing them lose is still essential. They’re one of the Celtics’ biggest rivals and seeing them win a title would be sickening.

Joel Embiid (wishing him a healthy recovery from his recent appendectomy, btw), remaining unable to reach the Eastern Conference Finals is essential to the plot, too. The basketball gods shouldn’t reward his flop and foul-bating playstyle. He’s rarely on the court, but when he is, he’s on the court.

On the same wavelength, Kyle Lowry doesn’t need to see another title.

Say something nice about the Sixers:

I love their “Here They Come” song. It rules.

New York Knicks

There is no team in the Eastern Conference that I’d rather see crash and burn than the Knicks and their obnoxious, entitled for nothing fans. This isn’t even about revenge -- simply disdain. Like, if they went crashing out in the first round against the Hawks, I’d personally send Harry the Hawk a thank you letter.

Plus, Karl-Anthony Towns (despite his giving and charitable off-court persona) is one of the easiest guys in the league to root against. According to him, he’s never committed a foul and he has a celebration for every single thing that goes well for him on the court.

Not to mention Timothee Chalamet, Spike Lee, Ben Stiller, and all of the other camera-loving celebrities will be on fans’ screens about as much as every playoff game.

Say something nice about the Knicks:

Tyler Kolek is a fine player. I hope he’s a Celtic someday. Shout out Rhode Island.

Los Angeles Lakers

Of course the Lakers are first on the list. They’re always going to be. Does that take some of the suspense out of it? Sure, but them’s the rules.

As long as they’re in existence (or I am, they’ll sadly outlast me) I’ll be rooting against them with every ounce of my being.

Now, this season, my energy might be going to waste. Even before Luka Doncic and Austin Reaves got hurt, the Lakers were always pretenders. Until they got hot in “March,” a month where everyone knows the NBA doesn’t count, they were the definition of mid. Like, seriously, their point differential was at zero like three-quarters of the way through the season.

Now, with both of them hurt, they’d be lucky to see LeBron lead them to two playoff wins against the Rockets.

Say something nice about the Lakers:

No, I don’t think I will.

Add us as a preferred source on Google

Follow