All right, Boston Cetics fans: it’s time to ask yourselves the question, “What would it mean if Kevin Love actually came to Titletown?”
This is a serious question, now, so choose wisely.
If you’re answer is anything less than, “At least one more NBA championship banner hanging in TD Garden,” go home. You’re in dangerous territory, and you’re just not ready for what is about to come your way. No need to be ashamed – I would go home myself, except I have to oversee the game in order to make sure everyone follows the rules.
However, if you TRULY believe that acquiring Kevin Love will put the Boston Celtics back on the road to the NBA Finals, pull up a stool and take a seat! For better or for worse, you have committed to the idea that making a deal for Love is Boston’s offseason priority numero uno, and you’re perfectly fine with the feeding frenzy that is breaking out across the NBA and the media that will cover it, which means you’re now “All in!” for the Kevin Love drinking game!
Here’s how you play.
Grab yourself a bottle of alcohol that is AT LEAST 151 proof. (We don’t want you to enjoy this.) Have at least a six-pack of a Samuel Adams brew of your choice handy, as well. (We DO want the people spectating to enjoy this.)
Immediately hand over the six-pack of Samuel Adams to a spectator. After all, good entertainment is always more fun when you’ve got a cold brew in your hands!
Do a Google search for “Kevin Love trade rumors.” Start reading! For every article that discusses Love coming to the Celtics, take a shot (two if you believe it). For every article that discusses Love heading to a team not located in Boston, take two shots . . . unless that team is Miami, in which case you better take three.
For every article that mentions “Kevin Love” and the “Los Angeles Lakers” in the same sentence, throw up.
The game continues until you die, sadly. Which makes sense, since a little bit of you dies every time you hear Kevin Love’s name mentioned, anyway.
For the rest of us, the experience will be a bittersweet one. Sure, we’ll lose a few compadres along the way, but we can console ourselves with the knowledge that we steered clear of the insanity that accompanies the rumors and lunacy that go hand-in-hand with an All-Star being traded. You would think Love was the second-coming of Larry Bird, for goodness sakes.
So – who’s ready to play?
Hey ! Where did everybody go?!?