Hardwood Houdini » Brian Scalabrine

Video: Scientific Expose on the Nature of Mambas, by Dr. Brian Scalabrine

Brett David Roberts — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 23:08:11 +0000

“The White Mamba is the world’s most dormant snake. It just chills. It just watches and chills.”

Leave it to Brian Scalabrine to find a way to glamorize the role of an NBA bench player. The short You Tube clip of Scalabrine expounding upon the difference between a black mamba and a white mamba shows a shot of him taking in an NBA game from the sidelines.

April 26, 2012; Chicago, IL, USA; Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah (left) sits on the bench with power forward Brian Scalabrine (right) during the second half against the Cleveland Cavaliers at the United Center. The Bulls beat the Cavaliers 107-75. Mandatory Credit: Rob Grabowski-US PRESSWIRE

Scalabrine may be the biggest cult hero of all bench warmers, and he’s about to begin his broadcasting career with Comcast, a gig he took in favor of being an assistant coach for the Chicago Bulls. Expect the “White Mamba” to bring a lot of humor to the broadcasts. He’ll likely eventually find his way to major networking and appear on TNT. I’d say it’s nearly a given, with his charisma and amiable nature, something that endeared him to fans in what would be a forgettable career if it were all rendered to statistical impact.

Scalabrine has made more headlines than some of the current Celtics on the roster here at Hardwood Houdini, but we’re fairly certain that you, our readers, don’t mind. In fact, we’d venture to say most of you are craving far more, but we’re doing what we can; this isn’t a Brian Scalabrine fan site and blog, though there are no shortage of those on the Internet, if we’re still not giving you your fill of the White Mamba.

So just sit back and “chill.” Be dormant. Be like Scal.

Retrospective: Brian Scalabrine Keeps it Real Following 2008 Finals

Brett David Roberts — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 19:10:17 +0000

May 14, 2012; Boston, MA, USA; Chicago Bulls forward Brian Scalabrine (24) watches the action during the first quarter in game two between the Boston Celtics and the Philadelphia 76ers of the Eastern Conference semifinals of the 2012 NBA Playoffs at TD Garden. Mandatory Credit: Greg M. Cooper-US PRESSWIRE

Despite “not having played a single second,” Scalabrine rationalizes his great accomplishment of securing a ring. Scalabrine looks fondly upon the experience, insisting that many others will, too, once they forget what actually happened.

In other news, per SI report, he just accepted a broadcasting job with Comcast, instead of opting to assistant coach with the Chicago Bulls.

Brian Scalabrine Update: Celtics Legend to Pursue Coaching

Brett David Roberts — Tue, 28 Aug 2012 18:34:13 +0000

May 8, 2012; Chicago, IL, USA; Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah (left) and power forward Brian Scalabrine (right) cheer during the second half of game five in the Eastern Conference quarterfinals of the 2012 NBA Playoffs against the Philadelphia 76ers at the United Center. The Bulls won 77-69. Mandatory Credit: Dennis Wierzbicki-US PRESSWIRE

Brian Scalabrine’s superb understanding of the game of basketball and legendary skill (OK, average skill set) set may now finally be put to use better than the days of his cheerleading on the sidelines.

The Bulls may be using Scal as an assistant coach this year, according to CSN Chicago. The Bulls former assistant coach Rich Brunson took a position with the Bobcats and Steve Clifford, who was also considered, join the Lakers with Dwight Howard.

In all seriousness, it has been Scal’s basketball IQ and understanding of the game that have kept him in the league for 11 years, so he should have some knowledge to put to use for Tom Thibodeau. It should be neat to see Scalabrine function to the highest of his capacities, since he can do things as a coach he could never do a player. He will also make a great mentor to young players, who want to learn from the White Mamba.